Interracial Dating; The Bravery of Loving Outside Your Race


When folks speak about interracial dating, they’re specifically referring to individuals of different cultures coming together romantically. Relationships today look a lot different from those of the past as the world has embraced and has become more welcoming to the different races within it and to be honest, so have relationships. 


Depending on where you live, the interracial couples you see may differ. Some frequently seen pairings include White-Hispanic, White-Asian, White-Mixed Race, Black-White, Black-Mixed Race, Chinese-Indian, Black-Asian, and Non-White-Hispanic.   In the United States for instance, statistically, the most common interracial relationship type is that of an Asian partner and a white or black partner. Following that piece of stat is the Black partner and a partner of another culture be it Asian, White or even Hispanic.  However, as was previously stated, different races over the years have come together for the sake of good ole love.  Though, at times, when a black man chooses to be with a white woman there comes an uproar of “they’re taking our men” but when a black woman dates a white man, it’s almost crickets.  Some would actually be in agreement that black women should actually date white men because, in the eyes of some, there aren’t enough black men for black women. This is partially because women and men of other races are on a journey of nabbing themselves a tall, dark and handsome.  


Once upon a past time in certain parts of the world, it was a crime to love someone who didn’t share your ethnic background. SELF reported that in the USA in 1967, “The landmark Supreme Court case Loving v. Virginia struck down state bans on interracial marriage.” Today, fifty-five years after being granted favor in the Loving decision, interracial relationships have increased quite noticeably as did their marriages. With a sense of normalcy between races established, black men began to be openly desired by the other races. The thing is, with this increase in the number of women and men interested in the black man, black women began getting told that basically the ability to call a black man their life mate is borderline mythical.    


So why are black men more likely to date outside? It’s been said that black men have been hypothetically voted to be the ones to leave the women of their race.  One woman (white) online said her husband (black, friend zone type of guy, average looking, not from a wealthy family) chose her because all the black women he approached rejected him. The thing is there are reasons apart from race-fueled ones why black men date outside of their race.  Taken from ABC News, “When ABC News spoke with one group of black women the consensus was that they wanted to get married, and their preference was to marry a black man. But the pool of eligible bachelors has dwindled. And even though these women are willing to marry men of other races, they told us their options are more limited.”  That, “We are maybe not as coveted as black men in society. I just feel there is a lot of taboo that is associated with dating black women, ’cause I don’t think they are necessarily ready to take us home to see momma,” said Melinda Watson, a black woman who is single and looking for a husband.


From research conducted in 2010, the Pew Research Center reports black women being summed up as the least likely to walk down the aisle, especially with someone outside of their race. In the book she penned, Cheryl Judice urges black women to seek white partners if they’re seriously in the market for a spouse.  According to the Northwestern University professor, Cheryl said: “There are far more black women than there are black men in this country, and that’s been for some time. Right from age 16 and forward, black women start outnumbering black men. For whites, that doesn’t happen until age 32,” she said and went on,  “As a result, if you don’t think about dating outside the race, then you very might well wind up single.” From her book Interracial Relationships Between Black Women and White Men, you get an insight into the lives of those who participate in this relationship coupling (black women-white men); be it dating, thinking of dating, married or to be married. The interracial dating advocate said, “I have set out in this book to explore the lives of black women who have chosen to cross the racial divide in their quest for personal happiness.” 


To gauge how Cheryl Judice really feels, here’s an excerpt from her book which highlights her take on why black women are being encouraged to embark on the journey of dating outside their race. Shockingly, race wasn’t a contributing factor for the majority of the 120 people she interviewed in 2014 through 2017 who were mainly black women married to white men.  “Black women are the only group of women in America who cannot take for granted that if they seek marriage to a black man that there will be an ample supply of available men from which to choose. This is not a new problem; indeed, it goes back several decades but there hasn’t been much public discussion about how to resolve this issue. It is almost like the plight of black women looking for eligible partners is the elephant in the room. Between issues related to skin color, hair texture, and low self-esteem, it is more difficult for black women to talk about it publicly to draw attention to the problem.” 


This article is by no means written with ill intent to either black men or black women. However, a question and generalization Judice posed I’ll hereby leave with you, “Can you think of any media where black women have been touted as the most desirable romantic partners?” Judice said, and continued, “Generally speaking, the idolized version of an American beauty is a white woman who is thin and blonde and blue-eyed.” Go figure. 



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